NerfGuy Sporkings: OD: RotS 7

Chapter 6: Hikari no Chikara!

Which roughly translates to “the Power of Light”. Spoiler for what is used, no?

By the way, I’m counting this as Random Japanese #60.

In our last chapter,

We learned how NOT to write fight scenes, and we learned how NOT to use words when conveying emotion.

 our Ojamajo heroines had been fighting against their evil Shadow sides, in an attempt to stop their plans to rule the world of light. In the midst of their fighting, Jou-Sama had been captured by her own Shadow, Black Queen, and was dragged off to who knows where. The Ojamajos were left to formulate a plan to rescue Jou-Sama and stop the Shadows from realizing their ultimate goal.

Was this recap necessary? Seriously, you’re putting such a thing in the body of the chapter where it doesn’t belong. If you’re so keen to recap, then please put it in the top A/N; that way, it won’t interfere with reading!

Meanwhile, deep inside the center of a dark forest,

It’s never established which forest it is or if it’s in the world of the Shadows. Come to think of it, I forgot to mention last chapter how the girls even GOT to the world of the Shadows! In fact, it was never established if they were even IN the world of Shadows; for all we know, they were inside the Majo Kai Castle all along!

 each of the Shadow Ojamajos were holding one of the Seven Seals. Black Queen opened the Book of The Shadows to one certain page. That page contained the ceremony that would release the Shadows into the Light Realm.

Something they could do already.

Jou-Sama had been tied up very tightly with vines. What's more, the vines had thorns on them, so everytime

“Everytime” should be split into two words here. Grammatical Fail!

Jou-Sama struggled to break free, the thorns cut into her skin, causing her to injure herself.

Evil Rin stood beside her. "You know, if I had my way, I would let you live."

(Evil Rin) “We would cuddle and kiss and-!”

"Majorin-Tachi will definitely stop you. I know they will." Jou-Sama said, half growling

Half-whimpering.

Random Japanese: 61

 at Evil Rin.

"I said it before when that witch tried to stand up to me." Evil Rin said, referring to Majorin. "She will be nothing more than a slave to the Queen. And that's all she will ever be."

"You don't know Majorin like I do."

"Hmph, I think, my precious snowflake, you will find that I know a lot more than you think I do."

Shadows naturally know their counterpart more than they know themselves. It’s one of the, if not THE reason Shadows typically beat their counterparts one on one. Likewise, it’s one of the reasons why they fail against just about everyone else.

"Well, you say that Majorin is nothing but a servant to a Queen, but doesn't that make you the same with Black Queen-Sama?"

Obligatory armor-piercing question!

"That does not make me the same as her."

And it’s a no sell!

"Silence, you two." Black Queen said, slightly hissing. Evil Rin turned away from Jou-Sama. "Now then...Each of the Seven Seals must be placed in the exact geological points."

"Hai!" The Shadow Ojamajos all stood around in a circle, each holding one of the Seals in their hands.

"Perfect, everything is in place." Black Queen said.

She sounds almost deadpan.

Quote Punctuation Fail: 195

 She began to chant out an ancient spell.

Even though, in this universe, magic can do anything as long as you’re strong enough? That you don’t NEED incantations or any special words unless you're still a human girl-turned-Witch Apprentice? The canon fail is all over the place this chapter…

 Each of the Seals began to glow and slowly levitated in the air. Soon, the glow intensified, gradually lighting up the dark forest. The Shadow Ojamajos gazed at this in amazment

What on earth does “amazment” mean? Ugghhh, these spelling fails are everywhere!

 as they were slowly being bathed in sparkling light.

Shadow Doremi shielded her eyes from this glow. "I know these Seals are supposed to help set us free, but does it have to be so bright?"

"Oh it's not all too bad." Shadow Hana had conjured up a pair of sunglasses.

And the obligatory piece of humor. It’s…somewhat funny, but it’s somewhat…not. I think it’s an old joke taking a new form.

'I can not let

(Jou-sama) “…this sentence maintain a bad writing style!”

 this ritual continue any longer.' Jou-Sama thought. She winced a little as she tried to break free from the thorns. After a few second,

She busted every bone in her body from the sheer speed and strain of doing it all in a second.

 she managed to get her right hand free. She snapped her fingers, making the vines disappear,

Finally, some magic from her!

 but there were some cuts on her arms, as well as her sides, since the thorns had tore into her dress.

Tenses, tenses, tenses… It should be “torn”! Seriously, you need a beta, Megan!

 Despite these minor injuries, Jou-Sama had to put a stop to this before it was too late, or at the very least, stall until the Ojamajos came to save her. The worst case scenario in all this: There was a chance that not even Magical Stage could reverse the Shadows's ritual.

You’re expecting the Queen to either escape and regroup with the others or quietly ambush Black Queen?

"Black Queen-Sama!" Jou-Sama yelled out. Black Queen quickly turned to her. "I won't let you go through with this insane plot. As Queen of the Witch World, it is my job to protect everyone from characters like you." She said. "I may not be able to change your attitude towards Light witches, but I will put a stop to this!" She threw out a blast of magic at Black Queen, but the Shadow ruler simply shielded herself.

Yeah, you read that right. That…was seriously too dumb to live. The Queen had THE perfect chance to stop the ritual…and she blows it. Completely. There is a time and a place to give yourself a rousing speech. But, hey… Way to alert the Big Bad, genius!

By the way, I actually asked if this was really an example of Too Dumb To Live on TvTropes, and they confirmed it! Congratulations, Megan. YOU JUST MADE ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS INTO A COMPLETE MORON!

"Your powers can do nothing now." Black Queen said. "Soon, your world will be ours, forever plunged into darkness."

(Black Queen) “All worlds will be better this way, not having to suffer under the rule of someone who would be THAT incompetent.”

As Jou-Sama tried attacking again, Evil Rin jumped in front of her, wielding her dagger.

"Heh, sayonara, Jou-Sama." Evil Rin let out her trademark smirk again.

How do you let out a smirk? Smirks don’t exist inside anything! Unless Megan’s implying it’s some kind of small creature Evil Rin keeps in her mouth… Good grief, that’s disgusting.

"NO!"

Jou-Sama quickly closed her eyes. She was sure she was dead...that is, until she took another look.

Majorin had jumped in the way at the last minute. And now, Evil Rin's dagger pierced through her heart.

"Majorin-San!" The Ojamajos shouted. They had secretly arrived in the forest, but once Majorin saw that Evil Rin was about to kill Jou-Sama...Well, you can guess.

Yaaay! More second person narrative! I’m SOOO overjoyed!

Evil Rin pulled her dagger away. Majorin fell to the ground, nearly gasping for breath.

"No!" Jou-Sama exclaimed. She caught the red-violet witch and held her tightly.

"J-Jou-Sama...gomenasai..." Majorin said, softly.

Random Japanese: 62, and it’s misspelled as far as I know.

"Don't be. I would've done the same for you, you know that."

"I know..."

"You'll...you'll be fine, I know it. Please, don't do this to me." Jou-Sama pleaded. "It should've been me... I'm the one who should be sorry."

Quote Punctuation Fail: 200. The fic is short, and we’re not even at the climax yet.

"...Now don't you say things like that." Majorin said. "It's not your fault."

Technically, it is. She was dumb enough to announce her intentions, thereby giving Black Queen more than enough time to prepare a defense. This is the result.

"It should've been me..."

(Jou-sama): "I shouldn't have let you stop my idiocy from getting me killed!"

"I want to say this... something I should've told you..."

"Eh?"

"...I...I want to say..." But the red-violet witch then closed her eyes and let out her last breath.

Keep this little tidbit in mind. Anyone who’s seen enough of Ojamajo Doremi would be aware that anyone who uses magic to bring back the dead will die upon success. That is an established rule.

"...N-No. No...No!"

The Ojamajos were in tears as well.

We have emotion for once, but it’s all ruined by the beige prose. Even I’m having a difficult time caring.

"It was for the best anyway." Evil Rin said.

"H-How can you still be standing...When Majorin is...is..." Jou-Sama just couldn't bring herself to say that word, 'Dead'.

Now you’re gonna pull that Never Say “Die” routine? Come on, Megan! This is set in Japan! Of course they tend to avoid “Never Say ‘Die’!” Even in kid's shows like this one!

"Even when a Light being dies, their Shadow still lives on." Shadow Hazuki explained.

That bit is unintentionally brilliant there. Even a corpse continues to cast a Shadow…

"That's just too much!" Hazuki yelled.

"We didn't know Majorin-San that well..." Onpu said. "But she didn't deserve to die!"

This is even more brilliance: It literally references how little character development Majorin got throughout the entire series from her first appearance to her very last. Other than a few instances of her keeping the Queen dignified to showing disbelief to actively trying to keep the Queen from getting herself hurt, the writers could very well have given her a larger role and more development. One of the few things this fic does right is give such development to Majorin.

It could have done without the sudden the character change and derailment, though.

Quote Punctuation Fail: 205

"How can you Shadows be a part of us," Momoko said, "if you're so heartless? !"

Okay, we have a bit of controversy here: Evil Rin was the one who murdered Majorin, and yet everyone’s treating the Shadow Ojamajos as being just as guilty. Hey, Shadow Hazuki only calmly explained! If there was more to that, then the lack of description did an excellent job of hiding it!

"Oh, those tears just make you look all the more pathetic." Shadow Onpu said.

Aaand, here’s the obligatory Kick the Dog and Kick them While they’re Down moment. The lack of enthusiasm…really makes Shadow Onpu look like a sociopath here. That’s really quite unsettling, seeing that from a child.

"Hidoi yo!" Hana cried out.

Random Japanese: 63

"We'll definitely never forgive you for this!" Aiko shouted. "Pomeraku Raraku Laliloli Poppun~!" A blast of sparkling blue magic hit Shadow Aiko.

"Let's end this right now!" Shadow Momoko yelled.

As the Light and Shadow Ojamajos began to clash again, Black Queen continued with her spell.

And, presumably, the Seven Seals are still floating in a ring.

 Jou-Sama still held Majorin in her arms. She looked at Evil Rin with a look that said 'How dare you'. Evil Rin looked back ar her, still with that trademark smirk.

Evil Rin’s smirk™ is property of Evil Rin. Original character trait! Do not steal!

Also, how do you “look back ar” someone?

"Shadow Stage!" The Shadow Ojamajos released their own, more powerful version of Magical Stage.

The Light Ojamajos were thrown back into the thorn covered trees. They had gotten pretty badly scratched up as they fell to the ground.

"Th-They...They got stronger." Poppu said. "How did that happen so fast?"

How long did it take for the group to find Black Queen?

"I wonder about that..." Aiko said.

"Could it be possible that those coins they have are giving them an energy boost?" Onpu said.

"Looks like you're right on that." Shadow Aiko said.

"We still won't give up." Doremi said, holding up her Jewelry Poron. "We definitely...We definitely won't lose to you!"

Notice the lack of described panting?

Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I do recall another fic of Megan’s called “Halloween Magic”. In it, an internal note that Megan left had said that she would leave the description to the reader’s imagination. Uh, Megan? THE WRITTEN WORK DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

"Then why don't you just...drop...dead?" Shadow Doremi said, in a menacing tone.

The Shadow Ojamajos delivered a final blow with one slash from their Porons.

Except Shadow Hana since her and Hana both lack porons.

 Each of the Light Ojamajos fell to the ground...Lifeless.

I suppose it’s a bit alright that some of the details were omitted here. Seeing young girls get slashed open like that would make this fic that much more violent and would most certainly warrant a “T” or even an “M” rating.

"...D...D-Do...D-Doremi-Chan-Tachi..." Jou-Sama said, through a few sobs. "...Doushite? Doushite? ...Doushite? ! They're only children, you had no right to kill them! Your fight is with me, why involve them in all of this? ! You...you...you don't deserve to exist!"

Quote Punctuation Fail: 211, and Random Japanese: 67

Uh, remember the prologue? And some of the reasoning Black Queen had for her plans? Yeah, where did that get off to? Why isn’t it being mentioned anymore?

"Urusai yo!" Evil Rin, out of anger, started slashing at Jou-Sama with her dagger.

In all honesty, shouting at someone and telling them that they don’t deserve to exist would anger anyone. Plus, even if they did just kill children, telling them that really doesn’t make you any better.

Just saying…

Random Japanese: 68

 The blade tore through the Queen's dress, each

Either add a semi-colon or change a word or two in the sentence.

 cut was deeper than the last. Evil Rin paused for a moment. Jou-Sama only looked at her. Then, Evil Rin slashed her weapon one more time and cut off the veil on the Queen's face.

This is a bit of author appeal on Megan’s Part. She quite literally prefers the Queen to NOT wear her veil, even though it’s customary for the Queen of the Witch World to wear one; even Majo Tourbillon wore one when she was Queen!

Jou-Sama's eyes were stained with tears and a cut appeared on the right side of her face. "...I..." She fainted.

And the writing makes it look comical despite the dramatic events!

"You could never win against us." Evil Rin said. "I had a good time with you, my precious snowflake." She turned and walked away.

Jou-Sama was now hanging by a thread. Not yet dead, but still barely alive. But then, all of her friends...They were really gone? It seemed there was no use in trying anything now. Majo Kai, Ningen Kai, Mahoutsukai Kai...They would be gone, taken over by darkness. The Ojamajos couldn't do anything to stop them, even though they tried their absolute best. And then Majorin...Evil Rin was wrong about her, and now it wouldn't make a difference.

But...Was it really over that soon?

Well, it is the darkest hour, Majorin and the Ojamajos are dead, and the Queen is nearly dead herself. She’s all alone against a group of murdering psychopaths who plan to take over all worlds, one of whom is more powerful than she is and another of whom is vicious enough to wreck her despite having much weaker magic.

Yep, the world’s screwed- oh, wait. Watch what happens next!

'You know...There is still a chance.' Doremi's voice said.

'I think...there's a way you can bring us back.' Hazuki's voice said.

'Never say never. We know you can stop the Shadows, ney?' Onpu's voice said.

'Come on, Jou-Sama! We're with ya all the way!' Aiko's voice said.

'Jou-Sama, FIGHT! FIGHT!' Hana and Poppu's voices cheered loudly.

'Face those Shadows head on, Jou-Sama!' Momoko's voice came next.

'Jou-Sama, we're not about to let you give up. Onegai, it's not the end for us just yet.' The last voice...It was Majorin!

The classic cliché of when the ghosts of fallen friends and comrades coming back long enough to give the hero a heroic second wind! Who thinks of this stuff?

'M-Majorin...Minna-San...' Jou-Sama thought. 'Th-They're...They're right. For now, they may be gone, but I still live. But...how can I bring them all back?'

Uh, you don’t? You die the moment you succeed in bringing back ONE of them, and I doubt your magic is actually strong enough to bring back multiple people at once- oh, wait! Watch what happens next!

Quote Punctuation Fail: 216

Jou-Sama's eyes fluttered open, her vision cleared as she woke up. It was then...She got an idea.

'That's it. Those Seals! If Black Queen-Sama can use their power for this ceremony...Then, there's a chance I can use them to turn the tide.' With a plan and a piece of hope, Jou-Sama struggled to stand up.

Plan? What plan?! You do realize that this all hinges on things going EXACTLY one way to succeed, right? Those tend to be the worst kinds of plans out there due to sheer unreliability.

Black Queen stopped her chanting. She was shocked to see this, but she was angered that her light half was still standing. "You're still alive? !" She said.

(Black Queen) “And I’m still calm despite being angry?! HOW?!”

"She shouldn't be able to even stand!" Evil Rin said. "Those cut

Pluralize!

 I made on her were so deep, she should be dead from blood loss!"

"Bakayaro." Black Queen growled. "I will finish her off myself." She took Evil Rin's dagger and went over to Jou-Sama. "Utterly pathetic. Your friends are dead, your kingdom is gone, you have nothing.

(Shadow Pop) “And you forgot a conjunction, Black Queen-sama. Just pointing that out!”

Quote Punctuatoin Fail: 218, and Random Japanese: 69

 What reason do you have to keep living when you've absolutely nothing to live for?"

"Because...Even if you killed me first, Doremi-Chan-Tachi would never give up. They'd keep on fighting until the very end." Jou-Sama said. "That's what they would want me to do for them. They always help out, and they always try their best. Now...It's my turn to help them."

"Your words have no meaning. It is useless to fight against me in your state. There is no other option but to accept your death gracefully."

"No. I don't believe that. But do you know...that's not the only thing you can do with those Seven Seals?"

Black Queen laughed at this. She sneered at Jou-Sama, "You must be delusional. You know nothing of their power. How could you possibly use them?"

"That's because..." The spirits of the Ojamajos and Majorin appeared by Jou-Sama's side. "We always find a way!"

"N-Nani yo? !" Black Queen said, taken aback by this.

I dunno, that was more like a gasp. Cue the obligatory villainous breakdown!

"That's because I am not alone." Jou-Sama said. "We will unite all worlds. I will not let you tear them apart!"

(Black Queen) “Where did I ever say I would ‘tear the worlds apart’? When did I ever say that?”

Suddenly, the Seven Seals, as if by a strong magical force, lifted higher into the air and went over to Jou-Sama.

'So the Seals are resingnating because of my feelings...Minna-San...Arigato!' Jou-Sama thought.

“Resingnating”? What? *googles* I have no clue, whatsoever! *looks over it again* Oh, it should be “resonating”! This is why you look up words you don’t know the definitions of before using them.

Random Japanese: 74

"Wh-What...What is this?" Shadow Doremi said. Even the other Shadow Ojamajos stared at this in disbelief.

The Seven Seals went into Jou-Sama's body. A bright silver aura glowed around her. This only meant one thing: A transformation had begun.

("Raindrops" by Sash playing.)

Why?! WHY?! WHY IS AN AMERICAN-MADE SONG PLAYING IN A JAPANESE SET STORY?!

(Super Majo Henshin Sequence:

Is this necessary, too? I mean, come on! The spells are established to take time, and the transformation sequences are literally timed in their own right! …at least, during season 1; it was sort of phased out in later seasons. But still, well, one episode toward the end of “Sharp” had Tooru of the FLAT4 attempting to attack the girls while they were trying to go from standard uniforms to Royal Patraine; only Akatsuki wanting to make the fight fair stopped him from going through with it.

Here, we have murdering psychopaths who would most definitely attack while someone is transforming! Especially since they could most definitely disrupt it and take her out without breaking a sweat!

 Silver feathers swirl around Jou-Sama's arms, turning her fingerless gloves into silver elbow-length gloves. Her dress turned into a flowing two piece outfit. Pure white ribbons wrapped around her legs. She spun around slowly as a pair of wings came from her back. Then another bunches of feathers came together and formed a weapon of some type, a sword that resembled a key.

Totally NOT a Kingdom Hearts reference…

 A star that housed the handle and a crescent moon near the tip of the blade.

Totally TOTALLY NOT a Kingdom Hearts reference…

 Jou-Sama grabbed the blade and struck a pose.)

She looked like a chicken.

But seriously, the fic is titled “Ojamajo Doremi: Rise of the Shadows”; why is the Queen and not the titular character getting a super mode? Oh, that’s right! Megan likes the Queen better, so she gives her all the best stuff! In fact, Megan herself has outright confirmed that Doremi and the Ojamajos do NOT get super modes of their own! But Majorin is (or, rather, WAS) set to get her own in the sequel (yes, there’s a sequel, but more on that later).

The point is, the canon is all about Doremi and her friends growing as people and as cute witches. If anything, THEY should be the ones getting super modes. At the very least, give Doremi one BEFORE giving one to the Queen, sheez!

"I-Impossible..." Black Queen said.

(Black Queen) “I so busy gawking that I forgot to interrupt the transformation and go for my victory! I didn’t even seem to take advantage of the long sequence for anything else either!”

Now, Jou-Sama appeared to be more like an angel than a witch.

Gee, I dunno. The Queen never looked too much like a witch in her canonical true form. She looked more like an elegant woman prepared for a royal ball.

"I-I-I've got a bad feeling about this." Shadow Poppu said.

Light is Good, Dark is Evil. That’s the rule of this fic.

"There's just no way." Evil Rin said. "It's impossible."

And it’s also a major Dues ex Machina. Seriously, where ON EARTH DID THIS EVEN COME FROM?! THIS WAS NEVER ESTABLISHED ANYWHERE IN THE FIC!

This whole transformation is one of my biggest complaints in the entire fic.

While it does first appear in Witches Unleashed, there it actually had a level of merit because it was a line-for-line ripoff of Sonic Unleashed. Here, it has no place. In fact, this fic is pretty much just a massive excuse to show off a fanmade super mode that wasn’t even properly planned!

And Like I said: This is just ONE of my biggest complaints in the entire fic.

"Well, aparently it is possible." Shadow Onpu stated. "She now has the power of the Seven Seals."

(Shadow Pop) “And she has ruined your ability to spell right!”

Quote Punctuation Fail: 225

"Hey! We're not done yet! Take this!" Shadow Aiko yelled. She and Shadow Doremi whipped out a dual blast of magic.

Recall earlier how Shadow Aiko seemed to look out for Shadow Doremi most? I guess she is closest to Shadow Doremi out of the group. Hey, I’m all up for using whatever characterization I can find for these flat characters!

 To their surprise, Jou-Sama actually deflected their attack.

Jou-Sama held up her new weapon, her Royale Keyblade,

DEFINITELY A KINGDOM HEARTS REFERENCE!

Before I continue, let it be said that someone else I asked to read this fic actually stopped reading it at around this point. They referred to it as plagiarizing from Kingdom Hearts. I wouldn’t blame them. Keyblades literally have no place in Ojamajo Doremi; they are a Disney and Square-Enix creation that was made specifically for Kingdom Hearts. Yet, I see keyblades in SOO many fanfics that have absolutely nothing to do with Kingdom Hearts. Granted, keyblades are considered "cool", and any young writer would want to use them, but that doesn't mean everyone can pull it off right!

 and a ball of light formed at the tip of the blade. A glow that was brighter than any light in the world.

Even the sun? I don’t think anything really gets that powerfully bright…

 The Shadow Ojamajos and Evil Rin tried to shield themselves from the light, but it was just too much for them. They all let out one last scream as they faded into nothing.

So, it’s okay for the Queen to kill Shadow children, but it’s an atrocity for the Shadows to kill Light Being children? Seriously? Hypocrisy, much?

 And only Black Queen was left.

"No...No! I will not let you win!" Black Queen said.

"No, I'm afraid it's over." Jou-Sama said. "We win."

'The Seven Seals have infused every part of her body with massive power. The feelings she holds for her friends have strengthened her in ways no one could ever imagine.' Black Queen thought. 'She's right. I...I can not win.'

You were expecting an epic climax? TOO BAD! HAVE A COP-OUT!

This is another of my biggest complaints about this fic. The sheer anti-climax!

Throughout the fic, Black Queen was built up as the Big Bad and the most powerful of the Shadows. After all this buildup, we see her go down in one hit thanks to a Deus ex Machina and we’re left with a feeling of disappointment.

For all the suspense that Megan promised in earlier chapters, I am, personally, very disappointed. And it ain’t even over yet…

Jou-Sama raised her keyblade and waved it around. 'The spirit and strength of a noble Queen," She chanted, "Take this! Queen Starburst!"

The blade went right through the Shadow Ruler's body.

The description is just as bland as the rest of the action scenes. Don’t know why I even bother…

"I only feel sorry that I could not help you." Jou-Sama said.

At least the Queen manages to stay in-character for this part; she would have expressed regret for not being able to help someone…EVEN IF SHE DID TELL THEM THEY DIDN’T EVEN DESERVE TO EXIST TWO SCENES AGO!

As Black Queen faded into nothing, she said, "We will fight again." And she was gone.

Jou-Sama looked at all her friends. Once again, she waved her blade around. A curtain of sparkling silver magic shown down on the Ojamajos, healing their injuries.

The Ojamajos sat up and looked around.

What?

"M-Minna, what happened?" Doremi asked.

"W-We're alive." Hazuki said.

WHAT?!

"Minna, what's going on?" Onpu asked. "How did this happen?"

"Hey, you guys, I think I've got an idea." Aiko said, looking at something.

"Look!" Momoko exclaimed.

"Jou-Sama!" Poppu said. "Sugoi!"

"Wua, she looks so pretty!" Hana said.

"Jou-Sama did this? But...but that's forbidden, isn't it?" Doremi said.

Um, yeah?

"Maybe, just maybe, in that form, forbidden magic has no effect on her." Hazuki said.

I call BS! This is yet another Deus ex Machina!

Normally, when magic is used to heal wounds, said wounds are transferred to the caster! And I’ve already explained the consequences of bringing back the dead earlier.

Here, it’s all handwaved away as being yet another power of the Seven Seals! Just an excuse to avoid letting the characters all get killed off while basically making red shirts out of them!

"It's gotta be...those coin seals the Shadows had!" Aiko said.

"Sugoi!" Everyone said.

Yes, yes. Shill the creator’s favorite and her new powers, why don’t ya?

Random Japanese: 80

Majorin, however, could hardly believe she was alive. She placed a hand on her heart. The cut was gone. It was like she was never killed. She looked at Jou-Sama as she stood up. "Jou-Sama...Is this...Is this real?"

"Yes, Majorin. It's real. And it's because of you and Doremi-Chan-Tachi, I transformed with the Seven Seals and defeated the Shadows." Jou-Sama said. "This amazing power is what allowed me to bring you back to life."

"I just can't believe it. Jou-Sama...Arigato."

Jou-Sama fainted as she transformed back to normal.

"Ah Jou-Sama!" Majorin caught her.

I would snark about the lack of description here, but that’s been done to death in this fic already.

"Taihen!" Hazuki exclaimed.

The Ojamajos ran up to Majorin.

"Is she okay, Majorin-San?" Momoko asked.

"Yes. See, Minna-San? She's asleep. I think she may have used too much power." Majorin said.

She used insanely powerful magic that could potentially shatter her crystal and force her spell to fail. OF COURSE SHE USED A LOT OF POWER!

I also suppose that making a Dues ex Machina happen like that is quite draining in its own right.

Amazingly, Jou-Sama's dress was still torn up, but all of her cuts and injuries were healed. In her hands, Jou-Sama held the Seven Seals of Anime.

"Minna, let's go home." Doremi said. "Majo Rika probably needs out help cleaning up Maho Dou."

“Needs out help?” Don’t you mean “needs OUR help”? Proofread fail! …AGAIN!

Random Japanese: 84

 The others laughed a bit as they started to leave the forest.

Speaking of Majo Rika, did it not occur to hem that MAYBE the Shadow Ojamajos attacked her after the girls escaped? Come to think of it, she was conveniently absent when the Shadow Ojamajos attacked. Shouldn’t the girls be WORRYING about her?

'Jou-Sama, you're amazing.' Majorin thought. 'Thank you...so much.'

Quote Punctuation Fail: 239

See? I told you you wouldn't believe what happened!

I couldn’t believe how incredibly anti-climactic this final battle was!

 Now you guys know how Jou-Sama obtained her Super form. Anyway, with the...A-hem! Character 'deaths' in this chapter, that was really hard for me to type up.

Understandable; Megan really likes Ojamajo Doremi and she is not the type who wants her favorite characters to get Killed Off for Real. Anyone who likes those characters that much will be hesitant to kill them off, even if they had a way to bring them back without anyone else getting killed.

 Demo ne, I did bring them back to life, so it's not too bad. And I apologize if there's any problems, just in case... (*Sweatdropping*)

Oh, there are HUNDREDS of problems with this fic. I even called you out on them, but you refused to correct them.

Random Japanese: 85!

Next up is the final chapter, and there's even more surprises!

Okay, that was beyond disappointing. And I mean BEYOND disappointing! Sheez, anti-climaxes are the bane of otherwise good stories, and lackluster ones just get even worse when the tension is resolved in such a cheap way.

Only one more chapter as well as the bonus. Then I’ll be done sporking this piece of “work”…